Steve
17-10-2003, 03:46 PM
Hi,
Just for some fun, i thought it may be nice to share some jokes. I'll post a few to get started :)
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David Beckham runs in early from training one afternoon and dashes to the bedroom to find Posh spread out on the bed naked, puffing and panting. Becks asks her suspiciously "What are you doing?"
Posh stutters a reply "I'm - er, er.... I'm having a heart attack"
"Oh no" he cries in despair. "I'll call an ambulance". He runs downstairs, picks up the phone and begins dialling 999.
However, he is stopped in his tracks by a tearful Brooklyn. "What's the matter, son?" asks Becks. "Uncle Giggsy is in the wardrobe with no clothes on, daddy" sniffles Brooklyn. Infuriated by this, Beckham runs upstairs and kicks down the wardrobe door. Sure enough, the carpet-chested Welshman is stood there, starkers.
"You w**ker Giggsy" screams Becks. "My wife is right over there having a bloody heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring the sh*t out of Brooklyn."
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A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-oldson playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you b*stards who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you b*stards who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're leaving NOW!".
The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playingwith his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. "
She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today. "
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat bitch in the kitchen."
Just for some fun, i thought it may be nice to share some jokes. I'll post a few to get started :)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
David Beckham runs in early from training one afternoon and dashes to the bedroom to find Posh spread out on the bed naked, puffing and panting. Becks asks her suspiciously "What are you doing?"
Posh stutters a reply "I'm - er, er.... I'm having a heart attack"
"Oh no" he cries in despair. "I'll call an ambulance". He runs downstairs, picks up the phone and begins dialling 999.
However, he is stopped in his tracks by a tearful Brooklyn. "What's the matter, son?" asks Becks. "Uncle Giggsy is in the wardrobe with no clothes on, daddy" sniffles Brooklyn. Infuriated by this, Beckham runs upstairs and kicks down the wardrobe door. Sure enough, the carpet-chested Welshman is stood there, starkers.
"You w**ker Giggsy" screams Becks. "My wife is right over there having a bloody heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring the sh*t out of Brooklyn."
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A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-oldson playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, "All of you b*stards who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you b*stards who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're leaving NOW!".
The horrified mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playingwith his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. "
She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today. "
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat bitch in the kitchen."